"So Random"


Once we were eating at the Manhatten Bagel on Elmwood and this homeless guy was, like, trying to perform for money outside the window where we were eating. He had this Freddy Krueger mask and was like sneaking up on people walking by. It was a beautiful day, so lots of people were out. He'd walk too close to them or hold their hand and they'd freak out. We kept thinking somebody would punch his lights out. He tried to beg some money off us, but we didn't have any. We never saw him again. It was, like, so totally random.

I got no patience for hobos, bums, crackheads, panhandlers, or generally human annoyances. I saw one time, on the bus, this group of boys roll these two crackheads who kept hasselling them for money. Eventually they pissed off these kids, and they just turned out their pockets. They threw their shitty cigarettes and their crackpipes or whatever out the window, and they might have each taken a couple licks for fun. It was a fucking strange thing to witness. I mean, I wasn't sure what to do, but there was so many of them boys. I couldn't get involved. In the end them crackheads didn't seem much worse for the wear.

It was so sad. Jimmy didn't even get a cast because of how small his fracture was, but it totally hurt way more than that. I like helped out with the pain by giving him a back and shoulder rub while I played him some Enya in the background from the LotR soundtrack. I think it was, like, totally soothing.

When I was a kid, my daddy drove a 1964 Chevy Impala that he painted bright yellow. It was the Yellow Jacket, that's what he called it. He was forever out with the Jacket working on it or cleaning it or just listening to the game on the car radio. That car helped make my daddy a big man in the neighborhood, and we all loved that car. The back seat was so big, I remember, I could lay all the way out and sleep when my sister wasn't with us.

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