"So Random"


When I was a kid, my daddy drove a 1964 Chevy Impala that he painted bright yellow. It was the Yellow Jacket, that's what he called it. He was forever out with the Jacket working on it or cleaning it or just listening to the game on the car radio. That car helped make my daddy a big man in the neighborhood, and we all loved that car. The back seat was so big, I remember, I could lay all the way out and sleep when my sister wasn't with us.

One time I was working the night shift and that teenage girl was riding on the bus. She was with this big old hockey player type guy who kept sucking on her neck. She would giggle and tell him to stop, and I could tell there was some kind of something else going on, too.

I got Jimmy a card after he found out he'd have to sit out on the game. I made it in the computer and it had a picture of a kitten, all bandaged up and with a little crutch propped up next to him and a football laying at his feet, on the front and on the inside it said, "Can't wait to have you back on the field, Tiger!" We passed it around the school, and I signed it first, but by the time it got to Jimmy my signature was, like, totally unreadable and some slut wrote her phone number in it. Jimmy said it was OK and he knew it was from me. He's super sweet.

Once we were eating at the Manhatten Bagel on Elmwood and this homeless guy was, like, trying to perform for money outside the window where we were eating. He had this Freddy Krueger mask and was like sneaking up on people walking by. It was a beautiful day, so lots of people were out. He'd walk too close to them or hold their hand and they'd freak out. We kept thinking somebody would punch his lights out. He tried to beg some money off us, but we didn't have any. We never saw him again. It was, like, so totally random.

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